I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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