Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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