when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
