Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
