Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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