I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
