the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
