Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bring me that man meat
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
