New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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