HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
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I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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