I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think i have two assholes
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
