nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
