Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
