Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
