i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
