it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
