It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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