I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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