Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
