I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
