is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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