Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize