every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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