After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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