my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
