I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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