apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
