He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This is my gift to your gina
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
