He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
