All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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