we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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