What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
