Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
