I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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