problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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