You really coming over, don't trick.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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