two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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