There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
