a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize