what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
