i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
