Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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