Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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