he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
