Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
