is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
