You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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