And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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