Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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