I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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