Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
