Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
