Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
