Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
