Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
