Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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