my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
