ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
