Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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