Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
