Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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