Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How naked do you want me to be?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
