mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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