Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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