My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
