I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
